Fic: A Shared Experience

[snape-fest-mod.livejournal.com]

Title: A Shared Experience
Author: Anon for Now
Pairing(s)/character(s): Severus Snape/Harry Potter
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: #5: Mpreg: Established relationship, post Hogwarts; Harry or Severus is pregnant (author's choice) and is due around Severus' birthday
Word count: 2190
Warnings: Highlight to read*Mpreg, angst *
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.
A/N: A million thank you's to my wonderful beta for all the assistance!

---

"Severus?"

The voice startled Severus Snape, coming as it did in that unnatural stillness of the middle of the night on a medical ward. Dragging his eyes from Harry's still, pale face, Severus looked up at Poppy Pomfrey. A short man stood with her, his dark skin making his eyes seem to glow in the low lighting.

"Healer Solomon has arrived," she said quietly, laying a hand briefly on his shoulder, a testament to her concern.

Severus stood, stiff from sitting for so long in one position, and reached across Harry's still form to shake the hand the healer extended. "You've come highly recommended."
His voice came out rough, the tone abrupt, but Solomon didn't seem to notice.

"The matron has explained about your partner's unfortunate accident, however I need additional information about his pregnancy in order to form a conclusion."

His eyes had drifted back down to watch the rhythm of Harry's chest rising and falling, but now his head snapped back up. Severus had to bite his tongue to stop the curt retort that hovered at the end. Taking his temper out on this man, this specialist, would be foolhardy, and he'd been that enough lately. He sat down again, waving Solomon into a vacant chair.

"Ask your questions," Severus said, trying to keep the impatience out of his voice.

The healer took out a piece of parchment and, surprisingly, a Muggle pen. "Your partner's—"

"Harry."

"Harry's pregnancy, was it planned or unplanned?"

Severus couldn't stop the derisive snort, remembering Harry's look of utter shock when Poppy had given them her diagnosis. He hadn't even known that powerful wizards could conceive and sustain a magical pregnancy.

"Unplanned."

Solomon glanced up at Severus' clipped word. "Unwanted?"

The image of Harry's face as dawning joy overtook it made Severus' chest tight with remembered emotion. "Decidedly not! Both of us were actually delighted to be told we were to be parents."

"But unexpected, nevertheless it seems. Did this cause significant problems or changes?"

Severus scrubbed his hand over his face, shame unfurling in his stomach when he thought of how little impact he'd allowed the pregnancy to have on his life, especially compared to the upheaval it had wrought to every aspect of Harry's existence. "There were some significant changes, the biggest was that Harry had to leave his training program in the final phase."

There had been no negotiating with the Ministry or the Department of Magical Law Enforcement: a pregnant Auror cadet was dismissed from training. Harry had taken the decree stoically and had moved into Severus' quarters at his insistence.

"Has the financial impact caused additional stress?"

"No." Harry had more money than even the Malfoys and Severus had plenty in his own vault as well.

Solomon made a note on the parchment. "As for the pregnancy itself, have there been issues?"

Debilitating morning sickness that had kept Harry almost bed-bound for seven weeks before easing and Severus had been there for him at every turn, a benefit to being headmaster. "We had a rough start, but the morning sickness resolved by the second trimester and there haven't been other issues."

"Are you sure? It seems unlikely that a first pregnancy would go that smoothly." Solomon asked matter-of-factly, pen poised.

"As the one who held his head every time he vomited," Severus ground out. "I would know intimately how well the pregnancy had progressed." He took a deep breath. "I made Harry the recommended potions and it finally eased near the end of the first trimester. I—Harry has continued on the supplemental nutrition potion to supplement his diet. He felt the baby kick about seven weeks ago."

Harry had felt that first movement and had panicked, not realizing what it was. It was the day that Harry had first pushed him away, hoarding the feeling of their child, alive within him. The past weeks had been difficult, taking care of Harry, dealing with school issues, and yearning to be able to be as close to their child as Harry was. Severus knew that the tension hadn't helped his mood or his temper, Harry on the receiving end of much of it.

"All right, that seems to be within normal parameters." Solomon made another note. "And emotionally, how is Harry doing?"

Severus frowned. How had Harry been, truly? Especially lately, after Severus had berated him for his selfishness? Too quiet was the answer, if Severus was being honest with himself. No matter how unjust the accusation, Harry had remained stoic, but had begun to disappear for longer and longer periods of time.

"In turns, Harry has been jubilant, worried, and—" Severus swallowed hard. "—too quiet."

Solomon's dark eyes searched his face and Severus braced himself.

"Do you feel he resented the pregnancy or was becoming depressed with the aspect of being tied down—"

"No!" Severus snapped, the full import of his own sins lay in front of him, too pale and thin for a man who was seven months pregnant. "He wasn't depressed! Harry was beyond tolerant and is anxiously awaiting the birth of our child! It is his partner who was the moody, impatient bastard who pushed him too hard!"

Solomon watched him expectantly and Severus tried to reign in his anger and self-loathing. It wasn't Harry's fault that Severus was a possessive git or that he envied Harry’s ability to carry a child, to feel the life they had created from their love growing under his heart. He drew in a deep breath.

"Harry is fine. Any problems we have had within our relationship have stemmed from miscommunications or my obstinacy. Harry wasn't rash or stupid, and he definitely wasn't suicidal. He was…I had been harsh with him and Harry went to take a walk. I believe he just stayed out longer than he should have in light of the inclement weather."

"You argued?" Solomon made another note. "And Harry went for a walk in a blizzard?"

"Yes," Severus said between clenched teeth, reaching to pick up Harry's hand and enclosing the cool fingers in both of his. "I asked that we bond prior to the child being born in early January."

Solomon's pen stopped, poised over the paper. "You asked?"

Severus closed his eyes, not wanting to relive that terrible, hurtful row. He'd demanded they bond and Harry had refused, throwing at Severus the accusation that he that he felt duty bound and wasn't doing it for love.

"I was insistent—"

"You were demanding and uncompromising, I assume."

"Yes," Severus whispered, opening his eyes to stare at Harry's still form.

"What is it that you need to feel secure and enable you to open up to Harry the way he needs?"

Allowing his eyes to caress Harry's face, Severus knew the answer immediately, knew what it would take to put his pathetic pining to rest, but bristled at having to admit it.

"Aren't you supposed to be caring for Harry and our child?" he snapped, looking up at Solomon.

Solomon tilted his head, his eyes piercing as they studied Severus. "Harry is going to be fine, as is the baby. Harry's magic put them into a healing sleep once you found them, absolutely confident in your ability to care for them." His eyes didn't falter at Severus' scowl. "My function now is to make sure that he and you are emotionally and mentally prepared for this child."

"What are you inferring, Healer Solomon?" Severus' voice was low, his tone cold as granite.

"I am saying, Headmaster Snape, that at the moment you are ravaging your relationship with the father of your child, someone I suspect you actually love deeply, and I need to know, as these dark emotions can have an effect on both of them."

A tendril of panic started to unfurl in his chest and a lump formed in his throat. "I—Harry means more to me than my next breath. I have had bonding rings for well over a year, but never found the right time to ask him prior to the pregnancy and feel frustrated that he refuses to go through the ritual with me now." Severus broke eye contact, staring down at Harry's still hand held between his.

"I sense that there is more going on, Headmaster, a resentment of the pregnancy?" Solomon made another note. "Do you in fact resent the attention given the child—"

"Absolutely not!" Severus snapped angrily. "Can't you understand? I'm jealous that Harry gets to carry our child! That he gets to experience the feel of—"

Severus bit off his rant as he felt the hand in his curl up around his fingers and, with feeling of dread, he saw that Harry's eyes were open, watching him intently.

"Am I to understand that you've been jealous because Harry is experiencing the physical aspects of this pregnancy?"

"Yes," Severus whispered, watching Harry's eyes widen. An unpleasant feeling lodged under his breastbone as he thought of how much he'd exposed. Would Harry still want him with his possessiveness and pettiness?

"If I may suggest?" Solomon looked between Severus and Harry. "A witch created a spell that allowed her husband to share every aspect of the pregnancy, every movement, every kick, and every ache. It's a spell the barrier would cast and only the barrier could lift."

"So..." Harry cleared his throat. "So he could share the pregnancy with her?"

"Not really," Solomon answered with a smile. "It was more to get him to understand why she didn't always want to engage in, shall we say, more strenuous activities."

Harry snorted as Severus grimaced. He'd had the opposite problem, too concerned that he would hurt the baby to do more than hold Harry. During their argument that afternoon, Harry had expressed the belief that Severus had grown tired of him sexually and Severus had not contradicted him.

"If it helps, bonded partners would be able to sustain a deeper tie with the spell." Solomon offered.

Harry's fingers tightened over Severus' and he met Severus' inquiring look with a small smile. "I'd like to cast the spell to share first and then if Severus still wants to, we'll bond on Yule."

Severus could not put a name to the intense emotion that filled him as he saw the look of unabashed love in Harry's eyes, but only a fool would turn down the offer. Severus was certainly no fool.

---

Severus concentrated on short quick breaths through his mouth as the pain crested and then back to slow, deeper breaths as the contraction eased. Harry, sitting between his legs, copied his rhythm and then crumpled back against him. They were both sore and throbbing with pain, at the point when they just wanted this baby born, but Severus didn't utter a word. He knew if he snapped or snarled, Poppy would supersede their wishes and cancel the pregnancy spell. She'd already warned him once.

The weeks that Severus had been able to share the full extent of the pregnancy with Harry had been amazing. Even with the cravings, swollen ankles, and hemorrhoids, it had been incredible for Severus as he felt their child move around within Harry. The spell had also brought he and Harry closer together, the shared experience having led them to open and honest lines of communications.

"Let's see if that birth canal has fully formed, shall we?"

Severus could feel Harry bristle at the perky, cheerful tone, and leaned forward. "You can hex her later, once Lydia is safely here," he whispered in Harry's ear.

"I heard that, Severus." Poppy did a sharp upward twitch with her wand. "Ahh, finally!" Stepping towards a specially conjured basin, Poppy nodded to Healer Alexander Solomon. "Time to wash up, Ander, this little girl wants to meet her fathers."

"I know I'm ready," Harry panted, another contraction beginning. "And I'd like to have Alexis," he glared over his shoulder as he emphasized the name, "share her father's birthday, so we need to hurry."

"Slide down to the end of the table, Harry," Poppy instructed. "Severus, stay in tight to his back, so he has all your support. Remember to concentrate on helping with the pain through your bond, as once she is in the birth canal—"

"Yes, yes," Severus snapped, another hard contraction slamming into them. "We know!"

After that, Severus could only hold on through the incredible pain and help Harry follow the instructions that Poppy and Solomon gave him. It seemed like forever, but finally, as the Hogwarts clock chimed half-eleven, their daughter made her entry into the world, squally indignantly at the rough treatment.

Wrapping in a soft towel, her face wiped clean, Alexis Lydia Snape, Harry having won the name argument, was placed in her fathers' arms, Severus still supporting Harry from behind. Together they counted fingers and toes, debated whose chin and nose she had inherited, before falling completely under her spell as she gazed up at them with the dark blue eyes of a newborn. Each of them watched as her tiny hands clutched one of each of their fingers and stole their hearts.

fin